Sometimes the Next Right Thing Is Just to Breathe

One of the most terrifying moments of my life happened while I was getting my scuba certification.

Our instructor was preparing us for one of our dives. There was a powerful underwater current that flowed through a tunnel across the lake. He carefully explained where to enter, what to expect, and how to navigate through it.

The problem was...I was already anxious.

When we're anxious, our brains don't absorb information very well. I was hearing him talk, but I wasn't really processing everything he was saying.

When it was our turn, I grabbed my husband's hand—my dive partner—and jumped into the current.

The water was much stronger than I expected.

Within seconds, it swept us apart.

Suddenly I was alone in the deepest waters of Lake Keowee.

I looked around and realized I had no idea where I was. I couldn't see the surface. I couldn't tell how deep I was. I didn't know which direction was up.

Every alarm in my body went off at once.

Get to the surface.

Go now.

You're in danger.

My heart raced. My breathing wanted to speed up. Every instinct screamed that I needed to escape immediately.

But somewhere beneath all of that panic, I remembered something I had been taught.

Don't make the situation worse.

If I shot straight to the surface in a panic, I could seriously injure myself. My emotions were telling me to move as fast as possible, but my training told me that wasn't actually the safest choice.

So I did something that felt completely unnatural.

I paused.

I focused on my breathing.

I reminded myself that I didn't have to solve everything at once. I just needed to do the next right thing.

I slowed my breathing enough to think.

I took the time I needed to safely move upward, pausing along the way to let my body adjust.

Instead of trying to fix the entire situation, I simply looked for my next step.

Eventually, I noticed light.

I hadn't been able to see it before because I was too consumed by panic.

So I followed it.

One small movement at a time.

Fifteen minutes later, I reached the surface.

I had drifted much farther away from my team than I realized, but once I came up, everything looked different. I could see clearly again. I knew where I was. I knew where I needed to go.

Looking back, I think that dive taught me one of the most important DBT skills I've ever learned.

When we're emotionally overwhelmed, our brains often react the same way mine did underwater.

We lose our sense of direction.

We stop seeing clearly.

We become convinced that we have to do something immediately.

End the relationship.

Quit the job.

Send the text.

Fight back.

Run away.

Escape the feeling.

But emotional panic is rarely the best time to make life-changing decisions.

One of the core ideas in Dialectical Behavior Therapy is learning how to survive emotional crises without making them worse.

Notice that the goal isn't to pretend everything is okay.

It's not to ignore your emotions.

It's not to force yourself to feel calm.

The goal is much simpler.

Pause.

Breathe.

Regain enough control over your body that your thinking brain can come back online.

Then ask yourself one question:

What is the next right thing?

Not, "How do I fix my whole life?"

Not, "How do I make this feeling disappear?"

Just...

"What is the next right thing?"

Sometimes it's drinking a glass of water.

Sometimes it's taking five slow breaths.

Sometimes it's calling a friend instead of sending the angry text.

Sometimes it's simply deciding not to make a permanent decision during a temporary emotional storm.

Our emotions often demand immediate action.

Wisdom usually asks us to pause first.

I've found that when life feels overwhelming, I don't need to see the entire path forward.

I just need enough light for the next step.

The rest usually becomes visible once I've stopped fighting the panic and started following the light.

If you find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety, panic, intense emotions, or feeling like you have to make a decision right now just to escape the discomfort, you don't have to navigate those moments alone.

At Upstate Integrative Mind Counseling, we help people develop practical skills to slow down, regulate their nervous systems, and respond to life's challenges from a place of clarity rather than panic. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, trauma, relationship difficulties, or simply feeling emotionally exhausted, therapy can help you build the confidence to pause, breathe, and take the next right step.

You don't have to have everything figured out before you begin. Sometimes healing starts with learning that you don't need to solve your entire life today; you just need support finding your way through the moment you're in.

If you're ready to begin that journey, we'd be honored to walk alongside you. Contact Upstate Integrative Mind Counseling to learn more about our therapy services and how DBT and other evidence-based approaches can help you create a life that feels more grounded, intentional, and resilient.